


31 Days of Kurtober - Fictober 2019

by DearHeartx



Series: Too Well Tangled, the Lucette De Sardet Saga [2]
Category: GreedFall (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-11-10 14:37:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 13,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20853407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearHeartx/pseuds/DearHeartx
Summary: Snapshots of Lucette’s life with Kurt, before, during, and after Tir Fradee.*Chapters with spoilers marked with an asterisk in the title.They will also have a spoiler advisory at the beginning of the chapter.Enjoy!





	1. Now? Now You Listen To Me?

**Author's Note:**

> In the majority of my fictober pieces, I headcanon that Kurt and Lucette got together when she was 19. Maybe we'll see how that happened in one of the prompts. =)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucette’s first swordplay lesson with Kurt.

Lucette’s shoulders sagged. Her new master of arms had been fussing at her all afternoon. He’d arrived only yesterday, a fresh 23 years old, his chest puffed out with something to prove and ice blue eyes that saw right through her.

“It’s too heavy. Let me use magic, I bet I could beat you real quick then,” she taunted, trying not to blush. Mother had already scolded her for chattering the boy’s ears off while he was sorting and sharpening the weapons this morning.

“No magic!” Kurt repeated for the third time, but there was no venom behind his frustration. “How will you fare if you’ve run out of potions and have only your body left to defend yourself?”

Constantin snickered, a sound that strangled to a quick end when Kurt glared at the younger boy. “Don’t be so quick to laugh, young sir. Your next.” He turned his attention back to Lucette whose shortsword was still dragging against the stone ground of the courtyard. “Now, pick it up, and lunge forward. Put all your weight behind it.”

She sighed but followed his directions, albeit half heartedly. She picked up the sword, the tip still wavering at a downward angle, and lunged toward Kurt. He swatted it out of her hand without difficulty and she stomped her foot. “I told you! I’m not strong enough.” Tears shone in her eyes, the hot embarrassment of failing her first sword fighting lesson was enough. The fact that her schoolgirl crush kept her attention keenly aware of her new instructor made the pain twofold.

“Not strong enough,” Constantin began to mumble on his breath, “Not pretty enough, not old enough.” He dragged his eyes in an obvious line between Lucette and Kurt.

Kurt fumbled for words. He’d noticed the little Lady’s attention on him, but had thought it best to ignore it. He was new and interesting. As soon as she grew used to seeing him around, she’d quickly lose interest. However, he wasn’t sure how or even if he should scold Constantin for his words.

Before he could make up his mind, Lucette stalked over to where Constantin reclined against the wall, reared her fist back and lunged with all her weight. The sickening crack of her punch could be heard throughout the courtyard.

A startled laugh broke out of Kurt before he yelled after Lucette as she ran away crying, “Now? Now you listen to me?”


	2. “Yes, I’m Aware. Your Point?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry I feel behind guys, I’m dealing with a rough EDS flare and it’s been difficult to type. But I’m catching up.

“Lulu, you can’t serious!” Constantin laughed from his perch on the rafters and bit into the apple he’d been cleaning against his vest.

Lucette glared at him from below, arms akimbo. “And why not? And don’t give me the nonsense of ‘He’s below your station,’ because I saw you and Miss Kitty.”

“Miss Kitty is a gem and should be revered by all!” He gestured into the air emphatically. The movement shifted his balance and he fought desperately to regain control, his body wobbling to and fro. Losing, he jumped down and rolled to a clumsy stop in front of Lucette’s tapping foot.

“Why can’t I be serious?”

“Serious about what?” Constantin asked with a grin and panting.

Lucette groaned and clutched at her tight, black curls. “Why can’t I be serious about approaching Kurt?”

Constantin groaned to match Lucette’s and clambered out of the barn floor’s dust. His long fingers wrapped around her delicate shoulders, stopping her as she stomped away. “My dear Cousin. I love you more than life itself. I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to have everything you want.”

She broke from his hold and turned to face him. “Yes, I’m aware. Your point?” She loved Constantin, too. They’d been inseparable all their lives. But she knew speeches like this usually preceded one thing and one thing only. Disappointment.

“He’s ten years your senior!” He screeched.

“Oh, because Miss Kitty is a spring chicken!”

“You leave her out this!”

They both opened their mouths to continue yelling, but when pale green eyes met with smoldering grey, they both burst into tears of laughter. They clutched at their sides as their muscles tightened with the fatigue of such hearty laughs.

After several minutes, Constantin scrubbed away a happy tear. “She’s not that old, though.”

Their laughter began anew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re reading my Masquerade&Mysteries story, *this* is how I actually headcanon Constantin being about DeSardet and Kurt getting together. He thinks she can do better and she teases him, but she knows he makes her happy, so he lets it go. Not the jealous asshole he is in M&M.


	3. Can You Stay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: non-graphic reference to assault/unwanted touch
> 
> Also, maybe underage? They don’t actually do anything so I’m not officially tagging it. I also can’t decide if I want this to be her 16th or 18th. I’m leaning toward 18 because Kurt isn’t like that. Anyway, I’ll shut up now.

Lucette ran up the stairs scrubbing angrily at the tears she most certainly wasn't crying. The dress her mother had forced her into billowed behind her as she flew down the hall, the intricate curls pinned to the back of her head sliding and falling out in turn with every step. She'd told her! She'd told her a hundred times she didn't want a feast for her birthday! All she wanted was to sit down with her, Uncle, Constantin, and Kurt. But Mother never listened and it had been a disaster. Courtier after courtier coming up to her, paying her fake compliments, asking her to dance as an excuse to grope her now that she had things to grope and was of marrying age. She slammed the door and threw herself on the bed, immediately reaching to untie the unholy monstrosity of a shoe her mother had made her wear. When that was done she stood on blessedly bare feet and gazed at herself in the mirror. Her makeup was mostly gone, save a smudge or two around her tear-swollen eyes. Her hair had come out of its perfect coif completely and now bounced around her in a frizzy, brown halo. The dress—lord, the dress—squeezed at her insides, at least two sizes too small. She twisted around in the mirror and tried to reach the buttons before collapsing in a fit of frustration to the floor. She picked up a white laced heel she'd just freed herself from and chucked it at her door, hoping for some cathartic release.

“Whoa! Hello to you, too!” Kurt chuckled as he caught the projectile boot against his stomach and laid it gingerly on her nightstand. “I just came to check on you. You seemed rather…upset after your dance with Sir Carignan.” He canted his head to the side and appraised her.

“He is no ‘sir,’ that is for certain.”

A flash of rage wavered on Kurt’s face as he decided between comforting her or tracking down the scoundrels who hurt her. Settling on the former, he covered the pained expression with a smile and extended his hand to help Lucette off the floor. “I'm sorry that happened to you. I would—You know that I—If I—”

“I know, Kurt.” Lucette couldn't stand to see him twist his words any longer. They both knew what they meant to the other, but he felt any move on her would be a disrespect against her and her family. They'd fought about it. Often.

“Would you mind?” She looked over her shoulder at the long line of buttons down the back of her dress. Before he could decline, she added, “I don't want to see anyone else. Not after what happened tonight. Please.”

He sighed deeply and took a step toward her, bringing their bodies uncomfortably close. His fingers deftly unbuttoned the top button, the second button, but with each next button his fingers began to stutter and slip.

“Are you nervous, Kurt?” Lucette leaned back against him and let the cold of his armor ground her.

“This is a bad idea, Lucie. Your parents, they trust me. I'm supposed to watch you. To keep you safe. Not…not do this. I'm too old for this. For you.”

Lucette leaned back a little harder and felt Kurt shiver, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he put his hands on her arms and for a moment she thought he would push her away. But he only held her.

“You're only ten years my senior.” She looked over her shoulder at him and felt his breath tickle her ear. “Is that really too much?” She whispered. After a beat she decided to press her luck. “Stay with me?”

A shudder ran through his entire body at her words, but he didn’t answer her. The silence stretched between them for what felt like an eternity.

Just as she was about to speak again, he leaned down. He kissed her lightly on the shoulders and her entire body exploded with feeling, gooseflesh traveling from the nape of her neck to her ankles. She reveled in the feeling and waited for the next kiss to come.

“You deserve a man who can give you the world. And my world is very small. Goodnight, your Excellency.”

He was gone before she could argue.


	4. Now? Now You Listen To Me?

“Come on!” The Master of Arm's whined, a much too juvenile sound for a man who’s eyes hinted at the beginnings of laugh lines. He stood at the doorway and beckoned her to follow him. “It will be fun, trust me!”

“Kurt,” Lucette’s laugh trickled through his name, “I know it won’t be fun. Sparring is never fun. It can’t be fun because it’s the same thing we’ve done every week since I was thirteen. That’s almost ten years! Every week. For ten years.”

He grabbed her waist and pulled her tight against him, biting her nose gently before whispering against the crook her jaw, “Yeah, but this time, when you lose we can come up with a much more fun punishment than ten parries and ten ripostes.” With each word he walked her backward, her knees buckling when they reached her bed.

Her laugh trickled through his name.


	5. “There’s Just Something About Her”

Kurt shrugged off his pauldron and gambeson and relished in the freedom of simple trousers and linen. He didn’t bother placing his affects gently on the armor stand like the always instructed the recruits and instead opted to fling them into his disused trunk at the Serene City barracks. He hadn’t managed a night away from the D’Orsay estate in nearly two months. Honestly, he was surprised his trunk hadn’t been taken down to storage to make room for another.

He flopped backward on the bed, stiffer and with more lumps than he was used to, but more his than any of the feather stuffed mattresses he’d been sleeping on. He stretched and let himself drift, his eyes closing against the bright afternoon sun that fell in warm, splintered rays across his face.

The door slammed open and he heard a boots parade through the room. He pretended to be asleep through it all. Even through the thunderous clap of a hand against what he hoped was someone's back. Then an excited holler, “Captain! You’re back!”

He sighed, defeated and opened one eye. Three soldiers were staring back at him, beaming. “Aye,” he answered and closed his eye.

“Aye?” One soldier, a Corporal Tesh, repeated incredulously. “We’re headed to the tavern to drink our fill. Join us! Last time you were in, there had been some trouble with the princess.”

His teeth hurt at the memory. Ah, yes. That was the last time he’d visited. Lucette had over indulged at a Saturnalia celebration. He’d gone to her room to check on her and found she’d dismissed her maid in a drunken fury before realizing she couldn’t unlace her own dress. No matter how many times Kurt resisted, Lucette wouldn’t take no for an answer. Of course, it wasn’t until Kurt was walking a clearly indisposed Lucette to her bed when the Princess decided to check on her herself. Kurt was dismissed on the spot. From what he could gather, Lucette had made quite the case for him, and a courier informed him that he was to spend the remainder of the holiday at the barracks ruminating on propriety before rejoining the family.

“One round.” He agreed if for no other reason than to chase away that sour memory. He’d done his best to stay as gentlemanly as possible, but he’d managed to not only embarrass her, but make her the talk of the estate for all Saturnalia. His ears burned just remembering it.

The men’s chatter carried them into the warm light of the tavern where men dotted the room, fingers wrapped around tall pints of ale and one table erupted in cheers and curses with each hand of cards like clockwork.

“Any news of the De Sardet girl?” The Corporal asked as they pulled their seats out and got comfortable. “She seemed ready to give it all up to you, last time we spoke.” He winked.

“Easy, Tesh.” A sharp edge cut into Kurt’s voice as he warned the Corporal. “That’s the young princess you’re talking about.”

Whoops and hollers of delight echoed from the table. One of the recruits asked, “Sore spot, eh, Kurt?”

“There’s just something special about her.”


	6. “Can You Wait for Me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with this one. It’s 100% just me playing with stream of consciousness. It was interesting, but not something I’d want to do all the time.

Hollow men draped in silk suits gather around her like she’s the last bubble of air in a sinking ship. Their mouths gaping and yawing, empty words pouring from them, as they inhale her lifesaving breath. She sees them for what they are, but is too well-mannered to remark on it. Instead, she throws her head back and laughs, a counterfeit sound just as vacuous as the mens’ boastings.

Too angry. Focus on breathing.

A gilded hand extends toward her and bows, an invitation to dance. She nods, her smile tight, and lets herself be guided across the floor. Even as she is twirled around the ballroom, flashes of boredom cross her face. It’s hard to notice, but I know her. I can see her wandering eyes and warbling smile. Constantin sees it, too. Of course I know better than to call out across the crowd about how much fun she is having. Got to say, though. Seeing the Duke’s face turn scarlet and stony after Constantin’s obviously sarcastic comment was well worth it.

The cousins stand at the refreshments, just a few feet away. They discuss their plans for the summer. He’s been invited to spend the summer months at Duke DeChaleon’s estate and he’s taking Lucette with him. DeChaleon’s son is known for his conquests—on and off the battlefield.

Liquor. Maker, liquor would make this easier.

Young DeChaleon would be a good fit for Lucette if he wasn’t such a whoremonger. Rich, educated, well connected; what does it matter that he’s slept with half the upper crust?

“Don’t pout like that for too long, Kurt. Your face is bound to stick that way.”

“Ah, Greenblood. A sight for sore eyes.”

Can you wait for me, Greenblood? I’ll be rich one day. Worthy, one day. It might take me an entire lifetime, but I will work myself bloody to show you, to show the Princess. I can be better than this. Don’t fall prey to the sharks circling you, my Lucie. Wait for me.


	7. “I Could Really Eat Something”

The cold air stung Kurt’s cheeks as he leaned over the stone balustrade and watched the gardens below. All these dainties gathered around and showing off their most recently acquired flintlock pistol, jewel encrusted pocketwatch, or pearl draped courtesan always grated on his nerves. He couldn’t stand another minute down there and listen to their inane conversation about the next hunt. He would simply have to keep an eye on his wards from up here.

He scanned the crowd in search of the young royal cousins. Constantin, as usual, was in the middle of the limelight showing off. The prince looked on from his perch at the honored table with disdain, but Constantin either didn’t notice or was ignoring his glares. But Lucette...Lucette was nowhere to be seen. She’d been wearing a stunning navy blue dress with a neckline much too low for the scoundrels in attendance tonight. Not that she’d asked his opinion.

A thunderous sounded from below, but everything in the garden seemed perfectly normal. Everyone was still drinking, dancing, and bragging about their holdings. That meant the sound had to come from the hedge maze behind the gardens. He never would’ve heard the noise had he not been above the raucous partygoers to begin with. As it was he bolted down the stairs and turned toward the hedges. All was quiet. At first.

Another crash followed by a familiar, “Hell fire and damnation!”

Kurt poked his head in the entrance of the maze. “Lucette?” Muffled sounds of an argument met his question. He followed the Lucette’s voice around the tall shrubbery, winding his way through the palace’s maze until he reached the fountain at the center. He folded his arms across his chest and pushed the pad of his thumb into his mouth to hold in his laughter.

Lucette sat on the edge of the fountain with her back to him. Her skirts were sodden and heavy with water, pulling at her waistline from the extra weight. She arched her back and twisted her arm behind her, trying desperately to unbutton the top latch of her dress. “By God, I’ll hurt whoever—“ she tilted backward toward the fountain’s chilled water and her arms flailed to regain her balance.

Her frantic yelp was the last straw for Kurt and a snorting laugh pushed past his fist.

Lucette startled at the noise and fell into the fountain, soaking her dress yet again.

Kurt rushed to her aid. He braced his leg on the edge of the fountain and lifted her out of the water. The force of it pulled her into his chest. Her pale green eyes were rimmed in an uncomfortable shade of red, her cheeks and chest colored to match.

“You’re a bit chirping-merry, aren’t you Green Blood?”

“You’re—“ she began to argue, but was cut off by a violent hiccough.

Kurt settled her onto a bench out of harms way and a safe distance from the fountain. He quickly shrugged off his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Why so much liquor?”

She didn’t answer right away. Instead, she nuzzled into his coat and inhaleddeeply, smiling at his lingering scent. Kurt did his best to ignore the happy dizzy feeling he got when he watched her revel in his smell. “The liquor, Green Blood,” he prompted and sat down next to her.

She collapsed into him, her face smooshed against his chest. He held out his startled hands for a few seconds before realizing she had no intention to moving. In slow, stuttering movements he wrapped one arm around her. For steadying purposes, of course.

“Men are horrible.” Her reply was muffled. Her breath made his chest hot, stirring the light shirt he’d been wearing under his coat. But he only enjoyed the sensation for the briefest of moments before her words registered. He tensed and his arm tightened around her.

“What did they do?” He spat out through ground teeth. He scanned the hedge maze as though looking for the perpetrator, even though he knew they were rightfully alone.

She shook her head vigorously against his chest, but he could feel a spreading dampness on his shirt.

A white hot rage boiled in chest. The need to track down the ones who hurt her—in whichever way that had been—was intense. He wanted to find them, make them confess their transgressions, and then flay their skin from their bones. How could they dare treat her, his angelic Green Blood this way. He’d make them pay. But doing any of that meant leaving her here, alone. No matter how much he wanted to hurt those men, he couldn’t leave her.

He hugged her tighter and kissed the top of her forehead. “Come on, Green Blood. Let me deal with the—“ he gulped as he chose a word better suited for her genteel ears, “—ruffians. Let’s get you upstairs and in bed. I’ll fetch one of your handmaids.” He began to gently extract himself from her.

“No!” She clawed at him to stay on the bench with her, her yell scratched and broken.

“Okay, okay.” He shushed her, smoothing her hair. “I’m not going anywhere.” He hummed a short lullaby he remembered his wet nurse Ruby singing to him when he was small and hoped to all that was good she was too drunk to notice he was horribly off key. When she calmed, he ventured again. “Will you let me escort you to your room, Green Blood? If your mother or uncle should see you this way, I’d hate to think what they’d do.”

Lucette looked up at him, her red with drink eyes even redder from tears. Heartbreak and fury warred within him to see her in such a state.

“You’re always so good to me, Kurt.” She closed her eyes and leaned up to meet his lip.

Turning his head, he made sure she kissed his cheek. When he looked down at her, he was met with a hurt pout, her eyes brimming with fresh tears. He traced the edge of her jaw with the back of his fingers and got lost in her searching eyes. “Not like this,” he promised her.

She nodded, but a lone tear tracked down her face none the less.

Not knowing what else to say, Kurt continued with the task at hand. “Come on, your Excellency. Let’s get you up the back stairs before you’re made.” He winked at her and reveled in the smile in brought to her face.

Kurt helped Lucette stand, expecting her to wobble from intoxication; but instead, the young woman bolted ahead of him, spinning uncoordinatedly and losing her footing. She laughed loudly, having landed squarely on her bottom with her legs sprawled out in front of her. Kurt’s heart hammered in his chest at the sight, but he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of her nearly swallowed up in his coat.

He bent to help her up and she clenched his forearms tightly, her eyes as big as saucers. “I could really eat something!”

He shushed her softly, “Someone will hear you! The last thing we need is your mother finding you soaking wet, half undressed, and wrestling me on the ground.” His voice was teasing, but his fear of her mother discovering them was very real.

Lucette let go of his forearms and grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, pulling him dangerously close to her lips. “Please?” She breathed.

He sighed. “If you go upstairs, I will bring you whatever foods you desire. But you must do so quickly and quietly.”

She pantomimed locking her mouth shut and throwing away the key.

“Good,” he said and she finally allowed him to help her up. “Go on, I’ll be up with all the food I can manage very shortly.”

“Promise?” She held out her pinky.

“Promise.” He hooked his pinky in hers.

_Right after I find out who hurt you._


	8. “Yes, I Admit It. You Were Right.”

The tavern is unusually quiet this time of day and it’s not difficult to flag down the bartender for a third round. Tesh’s eyes widen in surprise but he doesn’t break our uneasy silence. At least, not until I’ve down half the pint in front of me.

“That bad?” A sympathetic wince crinkles his eye as he struggles to meet my gaze.

I shake my head and finish off my glass. The debate rages in my head—let him ask his unending questions or beat him to the punch and recount my tale, every last horrid, wonderful detail.

I put my hand up to stop him talking. “Yes, I admit it. You were right. I never should’ve slept with Lucette.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued on 10/21
> 
> [The complete story of Lucette and Kurt, from the weeks leading up to the Masquerade, the Masquerade itself in more detail, and the time following this confession of Kurt’s is a WIP and will be posted after I finish a few more chapters.]


	9. “Change is Annoyingly Difficult.”

“Did you lose your job again? I told you that girl would cause trouble.” Tesh smirks, but the look on my face must be something to behold because his good humor vanishes and he leans across the table eager for the story. “What happened? Were you caught?”

“No. We weren’t caught. It was...She is better than anything I could ever deserve.”

Tesh barks a laugh. He leans back and wipes a hand across his stubbled jaw.“I thought something truly awful happened.”

“Shut up for a minute and listen.” I wait, expecting him to argue. When the silence stretches on, I continue. “I’ve found that no matter how much I want something—hellfire, you know I want her—change is annoyingly difficult.” I tip my hat at the bartender when he leaves a fourth pint in front of me and I take four long draws of the gold liquid. I can already feel the heady pressure of tipsy that comes before drunken weightlessness. I’ve downed my liquor too fast and if I don’t finish my story it’s likely to not be told at all.

“Change?” Tesh prompts, his eyes flickering to the door as four recruits file in and head toward our table.

I should be angry, the story was important. She was important. Lucette. I finish my drink as the other men take the remaining seats around us. Oh well, the decision has been made. Tesh wouldn’t have talked me out of it. The only thing left to do is drink. Drink until she’s nothing but a drunken, blurry memory to hold onto late at night.


	10. I Know You Didn’t Ask for This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucette finds out she’s going to Tir Fradee (1P POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References my short story WIP “Masquerades & Mysteries” — does not contain spoilers.

I brush the wrinkles from my blouse and tuck an errant curl behind my ear.

You can do this.

I square my shoulders with the large oak door in front of me and knock gently. My stomach flutters when there is still no answer after several seconds. I inhale deeply, steeling myself for the upcoming conversation, and knock considerably harder.

A muffled thud and indecipherable speech comes through the door. The door swings open revealing a disheveled and bleary eyed Kurt. I’m only able to catch the tail end of his complaint. “—middle of the goddamn night.” He blanches when he realizes who’s standing at his door.

He’s right. It is late. But this couldn’t wait until morning.

I push past him without an invitation, a hurried apology barely making it out before I launch into my reason for the sudden and intrusive visit. “Mother just told me—“ I know he can hear the brittleness of my voice because his eyes soften and he guides me to the bench at the foot of his bed. My mind is racing. In addition to the news I’ve received, this is also the first time I’ve ever been in Kurt’s bedroom.

“Green Blood?” He’s still trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes, but his words are alert and full of concern. “What’s wrong? Do I need—“ My hand clasps onto his before he can gather his weapon.

I shake my head. “No, it’s nothing like that.”

He sits down next to me. I don’t let go of his hand. He drags his thumb in slow circles against the back of my palm. I lose myself in the sensation and he has to prompt me to keep talking.

“My mother just told that I’m being sent away.”

His eyes widen, but he doesn’t interrupt.

“Both Constantin and I are being sent to Tir Fradee as ambassadors for the Merchant Congregation. Constantin will be the governor of our city there.” I swallow hard trying to wet my mouth that has become nothing but a void of hot ash. “My role is not yet determined.”

“Why are you so concerned, Green Blood? Your mother never would’ve suggested this new opportunity for you if she did not know you could meet it—exceed it, even—head on.”

I drag my eyes from our intertwined hands to his face. Am I only imagining a trace of sadness in his expression?

He opens his mouth, a gentle smiling tugging at an old scar across his lip. But he thinks better of what he meant to say and his mouth closes with a gentle snap of teeth. He turns away from me, but I can see the blush creeping up from his undershirt.

The intimate expression gives me a sudden burst of courage and I bolt off the bench to kneel in front of him. “Come with me.” The demand spills from me before I can even think twice.

“What?” He laughs through his shock. “You can’t be serious. Don’t you want someone—“ His eyes dart about the room as if he’ll find the perfect word hidden there. “—better?”

My heart cracks a little and crawl closer to him, nestling my body between his knees. His shock doesn’t fade but he opens his legs to let me in. I haven’t been this close to him since the masquerade five years ago. Hell fire, we’ve both had other partners since that night. But the thought of leaving the Continent without him tears me in two.

“I’m not asking for—“

God, don’t make say it.

He nods.

“I just want my master of arms with me. With us.”

“To protect you dainties?” He smirks.

He knows how much I hate that word. Fighting the urge to shudder, my head drops onto his lap. I still, completely frozen, when I realize how close I am to him now. I bolt up and start pacing and talking in equally rapid succession.

“I know you didn’t ask for this. I can’t even tell you long we’ll be gone. The trip over there is four solid months by boat, so at the absolutely minimum, we’ll be gone nine months. But if I’m honest with myself, there’s no way we can do all the politicking my mother expects of us in one month. Plus Constantin. I can’t leave him there. Who knows what kind of trouble he’d make for himself without me to watch over him And you’ve always been—“

Warm hands clasp her arms as she’s walking away. “Lucie.”

Another thing that hasn’t happened since the masquerade. Lucie.

“If you want me with you, I’m with you. You need only ask.”

I turn around and fling myself into him, giving him a relieved hug. I nod as I pull away and bite back the stinging tears of relief. I know I’ve failed when he chuckles and uses the pad of his thumb to wipe my cheek. “Oh, your Excellency. Whatever shall we do with you.”


	11. “Listen. No, Really Listen.”

Lucette could feel the excitement curling its way through the Serene Port, how it made everything jitter and shine like how she remembered feeling as a child during Saturnalia celebrations.

“So, are you ready?”

She turned and saw Kurt standing nesting to her, hands on his hips, and smirking at her. The icy clear blue of his eyes was like a gut punch whenever he looked at her. She never wanted him to stop looking at her.

She brushed a curl out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. The curl sprung right back. Kurt’s smile broadened.

“Well?” He prompted.

Imbecile! He asked a question. She stammered as she tried to remember what his initial greeting had been.

He laughed and put her out of her misery. “Are you ready?”

“Yes! Yes, of course.” She let bravado leak into her response, a cover for her earlier distraction.

“I wonder what New Serene will be like. No more of these delicate frillies telling you what to do, eh? Have to make all the decisions for yourself.”

Kurt continued to chatter about her new responsibilities and what he hoped the food would be like, but Lucette began to drift again. This time, however, she wasn’t distracted by his eyes or his laugh.

“Do you hear that?” She cut off his diatribe about Coin Guard food rations.

“—powdered eggs! Hell fire, it was—“ He jerked his head to stare when he realized she’d said something. “Hear what?”

“Listen.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but she put her gloved hand to his mouth. He blushed and cast his eyes about to see if anyone had seen the forward gesture.

“No, really. Listen,” she said again.

When his heart stopped thundering at the proximity of her touch, he noticed he did hear something. A faint scratching, the occasional creak.

“All aboard, everyone! Best hurry if we’re to make the tide!” Vasco called out from the top of a ladder that lead to their boarding dock.

Kurt shrugged and stepped off the Port, crossing a large docking bay. Lucette followed, jogging to catch up with Constantin who was several yards ahead of Kurt.

The scratching sound Lucette had heard intensified then morphed into an ear splitting crack. She spun toward the sound and saw a large ship docked nearby, its hull rent in two with what looked like tree limbs sprouting from the damage.

Screams and curses erupted from the topside of the ship. Vasco called out his own warning, but it was lost amidst the clamor. The tree creature continued to grow from the side of the ship, its shadow covering the entirety of the docking bay.

Lucette swallowed hard and flexed her hands. She focused on the chilling sensation of magic working its way around her wrists in spirals.

“Kurt, keep my cousin safe. I’ll handle this.” Words she would regret once the creature broke free from the confines of the ship.


	12. “You Can’t Give More Than Yourself”

The bullet ejects from her pistol with an ear splitting crack that echoes across the dock yard. All is eerily silent when the ringing stops. The closing eyes of the dying behemoth laying in front of her pulls at her heartstrings; the fact that she’d been the one to end this creature’s life sits in her gut like month old hardtack.

Footsteps sound behind her, but she can’t pull her eyes away from the lifeless creature. It’s the first time she’s taken a life. Something tells her it won’t be the last.

“Green Blood!” Kurt rushes over and his panicked voice pulls Lucette from her stupor. “How do you fare?” He comes to a stop in front of her and gently reaches for her hand. She barely registers the blood dripping down her palm and puddling by her boots. “Are you wounded?” His second question is quieter, more intimate. Just for her, but just as panicked.

Lucette wants to take comfort in him, but her kill’s cold, dead eyes are still boring into her. She doesn’t deserve his comfort. “I’m fine, fine.” She pulls out of his reach and waves away his attentions. Out of the corner of her eye she can see the surprised hurt that crosses Kurt’s face. To soothe her rejection she says, “Your lessons have proven effective; it is dead.”

Kurt steps in front of Lucette again, this time directly blocking her view of the creature. “Lucie.” His voice is but a whisper.

Lucette ignores him, continues looking through him and toward the creature as if Kurt were not there at all.

He takes a crisp white handkerchief from his pocket and wraps her injured hand in slow and measured movements. “Lucie, you did what had to be done. The thing was mad, it would’ve killed Constantin if you hadn’t.” He knots the handkerchief. Holding her bandaged hand between his own, he says, “It would have killed you.”

Lucette manages to look at him, her eyes glassy with unspilt tears. She can’t speak without revealing how weak she truly is, without her voice betraying her. The Legate to the Merchant Congregation cannot whimper like a school girl over something like this. She tries to steal herself, but only manages a trembling chin as she squashes down her emotions.

Kurt lifts his hand her face and traces the edge of her jaw with the pad of thumb. “Oh, Lucie,” he sighs. “You can’t give them more than yourself. Please don’t forget that.”

He leans down, his forehead barely touching hers when Constantin bounds toward them and calling out, “Cousin! What a fight!”

Kurt springs away from Lucette, a shade of red she’s never seen before. She takes his wise words, wraps them neatly in a ribbon so they won’t get lost, and pushes them deep inside as Constantin throws himself into her arms. “You were elustrious!” He laughs and spins her around. “That battle was absolutely epic!”

Lucette puts on a smile and walks towards the ship, leaving the creature and a part of her heart behind.


	13. “There’s a Certain Taste Taste to It”

Lucette looked down at the cloudy bowl of broth with nondescript chunks of meat bobbing against the side. “What do you think it is?” She whispered to Kurt, her ever present master of arms and bodyguard.

“Soup,” he said decidedly and nodded as though his own agreement would make it so.

Constantin, never one to turn down a new experience, was putting the spoon slowly back in his bowl. “There’s a…certain…taste to it,” he said slowly, uncharacteristically aware that the Nauts might hear whatever he has to say about their dinner.

“Like?” Lucette prompted.

“Like soup,” Kurt said. Again, he nodded, this time even more resolutely. He stared at the bowl like it was a dare. His hand clenched tightly around his spoon. Every muscle was tense.

It was obvious to Lucette that the only way Kurt was going to eat during this trip was to convince himself that this mystery substance was indeed soup.

“Like despair,” Constantin said, a melodramatic howl started to bubble up from his throat.

Lucette kicked him under the table.

“And a little bit like week old cheese,” he added with a grin.

“It’s salted pork,” Captain Vasco said as he walked behind Constantin, his hands clasped firmly behind his back.

“See? Soup.” Kurt dug his spoon into the goop and took a large slurping gulp. His nose crinkled and he fought back a hacking cough. When Vasco turned around, his eyebrow crooked in question at him, Kurt waved him away with smile. “Delicious. I love soup.”


	14. “Secrets? I Love Secrets!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Manfred is kind of a sleaze ball in this one shot. I don’t at all see him that way. It just made this one shot easier to write. 

Kurt walked into the Coin Guardhouse of New Serene and took stock. Everything still seemed to be in boxes, but the facilities were almost as large as he was used to and the amenities seemed to be twice as accommodating. He could certainly get used to it.

The staff sergeant waved him over.

“Manfred?”

He saluted.

“I’m Captain Kurt and—” he turned to introduce Lucette, but she was already extending her hand to the man.

“Lucette De Sardet, Legate to the Congregation of Merchants. I’m here to make doubly sure the stock we supplied to New Serene arrived in an orderly fashion.”

A host of emotions flashed across Manfred’s face, but amusement seemed to win out. “Excuse us, your Excellency.” He bowed his head to Lucette and grabbed Kurt by the arm, guiding him out of earshot.

“So that’s how you did it, huh?” Manfred gazed over his shoulder at Lucette as she investigated one of the large paintings hanging on the wall. His eyes lingered on her backside. Kurt’s hand tightened on his sword and he heard the blood pounding in his ears.

Manfred continued, “It must help to have friends in high places.” He gave Kurt a toothy grin, but then confusion showed on his face as he looked between the captain and the legate. “No offense, sir, but what does she get out of the deal?”

Before Kurt could answer anything, Manfred continued the conversation with himself, a look of understanding dawning on his face. “Oh, I get it. It’s a secret. I love secrets. If I had one of her, I’d keep it a secret, too, if you know what I mean.” He held his hands out in front of him as if holding something and made an obscene gesture toward his hips.

Kurt shook out his hand and cursed, hurrying away from the man who lay sprawled on the floor.

Lucette ran to meet him halfway. “What happened? Why did you— Are you okay?” She grabbed his hand and the heat from her fingers melted away all negative thought and emotion.

“Just fine, Green Blood. Just fine.”


	15. “Listen, I Can’t t Explain It. You’ll Just Have to Trust Me.”

The paper lanterns strung in a zigzag between each street lamp cast playful shadows across the horde of people at the faire. Lucette marveled at the beautiful gowns and coats everyone was wearing. Even the guard recruits were wearing their roast-meat clothes.*

“Look!” Lucette grabbed Kurt’s arm and squealed with delight, pointing at the a crowd of people surrounding a couple holding two candles solemnly staring at one another while they attempted not to laugh. “The King of Morocco! Let’s play!” She tried to contain her bubbling excitement as he lead her over to the group.

“When do you think it will be our tur—”

“Kurt Godeaux,” a slick voice called from behind them.

He froze on the spot causing Lucette to stumble slightly. She quickly righted herself and turned. A tall man, with thinning grey hair and broad shoulders stood before her. Her eyes flickered to Kurt, his back still toward the man, waiting for an introduction. When none came, she smiled at the man and bowed her head. “Lucette De Sardet, Legate of The Merchant Congregation.”

“Oh! I’ve heard of all your work, but I hadn’t heard you were such a treasure to behold.”

She felt herself flush and Kurt whirled around, his finger pointed at the man’s chest. But when they locked eyes, all fight left him. He seemed to shrink into himself and Lucette squinted at him in silent question.

The man pressed on. “I am Lieutenant Commander Hermann. May I say you look absolutely ravishing.” His hand reached out like a striking snake and pulled her fingers to his lips, planting a overly wet kiss on them. “It’s a shame there is no dancing at tonight’s faire, I would love to see how you handle yourself.”

That was the tipping point. Despite the public decorum, Kurt wrapped his arm around Lucette’s shoulders and snarled, “She handles herself well enough to know who is and isn’t worth her time.”

Lucette’s mouth dropped open, but a facade of smiles and laughter quickly replaced it as she patted the dinner jacket Kurt had borrowed from Constantin. “Don’t be a bear, Kurt. The Lieutenant Commander is just being polite.”

“Yes, Kurt.” Hermann smiled slyly. “Don’t be a bear.”

Kurt shuddered and the hand that hovered around Lucette’s back clenched so tightly that his bitten down fingernails were able to draw blood from his palms.

Sensing the tension in his body, Lucette made her apologies to Hermann and escorted him away and through the crowd. “What is the matter with you? He was perfectly charming!”

A sickly green pallor washed over him and he began to shiver. “Listen, I can’t explain it. You’ll just have to trust me. He’s a bad man, Lucie. Don’t…don’t talk to him any more than you have to.” He looked across the throng of laughing people overindulging in drink and sweets and caught Hermann’s eye. The man grinned at him, his mouth upturned with a unfeeling malice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Colonial slang for “holiday clothes”


	16. Just Follow Me, I Know the Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Mild [SPOILERS] involving the recruitment of Aphra.

“Just follow me. I know the way.”

The Alliance scientist’s voice held a level of confidence just shy of arrogant that grated on Kurt’s nerves. He begrudgingly slid his greatsword onto his back and trudged after her, trying not to think of how ridiculous her beret looked as it flopped around her head.

“Be nice,” a quiet, familiar voice said in his ear.

Lucette.

He smiled in spite of himself and cast his eyes sideways. She barely came up to his chin and it was all he could do to not wrap her in his arms every time she appeared his side.

“Their camp is just ahead.”

Ugh. That voice.

His expression soured again. “Not two minutes ago she had a gun to your head,” his whispers were quick and harsh.

“She’s on our side,” Lucette said, bumping into him to lighten the mood.

“A gun. To your head.”

Petrus turned at the ruckus they were making, but Lucette was quick to dismiss him. “Go on ahead, Father. Tell Aphra we’ll be along shortly. Do not alert the camp to our presence. We want to spare as many lives as possible.”

The bishop nodded and after a quirked eyebrow at Kurt, he trotted ahead.

They both exploded into a jumble of words at the same time.

Kurt saying, “You’re so careless with your life sometimes. You charge head first into everything they throw at you. It’s admirable and it’s brave, no one could begrudge you that. But I can’t lose you—“

Lucette saying, “Your face leaves nothing to the imagination. You were glaring daggers at her! I was sent here to secure allies! If Constantin finds out you jeopardized the mission he’ll keep you at the palace. I can’t lose you—“

Their eyes met and Kurt pulled her into a crushing hug, his cheek crushed against the top of her head. He kissed her hair and returned to nuzzling her with his cheek. After a moment he broke the silence. “I still don’t like her.”


	17. “No. And That’s Final.”

“This is ludicrous!” Kurt shouted, slamming his palm against the wall in frustration. “She tried to murder you! You remember that, right?”

Lucette turned away from the bed, her half-packed belongings scattered around a rucksack that lay in middle of the mattress. “No, I did not forget,” she ground out. “But the Cave of Knowledge is important to Aphra as well as the Bridge Alliance, you know, our allies.”

He turned his head toward her with a scowl, his disapproval of her sarcasm plain.

“You started it,” she murmured.

“No, she started it! She had a gun! To your head!” He pushed off the wall and grabbed both of Lucette’s hands, her petite fingers swallowed by his large palms. His next words came out in a barely audible whisper, “I’ve spent my life protecting you.” He leaned his forward into hers. “It would break me to fail you now.”

Lucette gingerly untangled her hands and looped her arms around his neck, kissing him, soft and languid until she felt his entire body relax.

He smiled against her mouth. “So I can go?”

“No, and that’s final.”


	18. “What if I Don’t See It?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This one shot uses a generic De Sardet, not Lucette.
> 
> My canon-state uses Lucette de Sardet, who’s relationship was initiated with Kurt at 19. Follow her story for for what happens after their passion fueled tryst at the masquerade.

De Sardet, Kurt, and Petrus had been traveling all afternoon looking for the native village, seeking out an alliance with Mal Dedre. Night had fallen on them quicker than they were used to back on the Continent and they were forced to make due with a small campfire hidden behind an outcropping of rocks.Kurt froze, his hands clenched around the wooden handle of a cast iron pot he was nestling in the embers of the low fire. De Sardet and Petrus looked at him confused, until they heard it, the soft yet guttural ton of the native’s language drifting on the wind.

De Sardet motioned for the men to follow her, her knees sunk low to the ground in a silent crouch. They followed the voices around their rock outcropping, up a hidden rock staircase, and nearly dropped directly into the Mal’s hut. They sat atop the hut and listened to the conversation between the Mal and another native. After a moment both villagers left the hut.

Kurt sighed heavily. “It’s a shame we didn’t have that pretty twig with us; she would’ve have been able to translate all that gibberish.”

De Sardet’s mouth dropped open slightly, one side upturned in a shocked smile. “Pretty twig? Not to your liking then?”

“I meant no offense. She’s just…not my type.” His ears flamed scarlet.

“What, is she too gorgeous for you?”

“I just don’t see it.” Kurt shrugged. De Sardet’s gasp was almost loud enough to drown out Petrus’ whistle. He immediately began to back peddle. “That’s not what I—I didn’t—” He scrubbed a hand across his face and took a deep breath. “Why do I feel like I’m trapped no matter what I say?”

“Should’ve though of that sooner, Sir Kurt. The child deserves an answer,” Petrus smiled at his shoes.

“I’ve developed an affection for someone else,” Kurt mumbled.

“Oh, who?” Petrus cooed, already knowing the answer.

Kurt glared at the man, his eyes sparking in the dim light.

“Don’t pester him, Father. I’m sure he’ll tell her when she’s ready,” De Sardet said, casting a sideways glance at Kurt who nodded at her meaningfully. This time, it was De Sardet’s turn to blush scarlet.


	19. “You Keep Me Warm”

She can barely catch her breath after taking down that monstrous sea-like creature. It was only half the size of the tree creature Lucette fought in Serene’s port, but it had three times the stamina.

A thick fog seemed to overtake her body and she wavered where she stood. Kurt’s rushed and concerned words melted into a sharp whine, a whine that dominated her attention until her legs gave out from underneath and she watched the sky above her dimming from cloudy grey to a deep purple. Each blink made her head pound, but nothing was worse than the wet sand soaking into her back. Maker, she hated sand.

“Lucie! Are you okay?” Pale with concern, Kurt mooned over her.

“I’m fine, fine.” She pushed him out of the way so she could sit up, but her head swam, the dizziness overwhelming her and she fell backward into his arms.

“Are you sure? What is it?” His voice was unnaturally high pitched.

“Calm yourself, Captain.” She smiled. “It’s my magic. I pushed myself a little too hard in that fight. I’ll rest a whole a be good as new.”

His frown lines deepened and Lucette bit back a smile at his pout. “What is it, Kurt?” She asked with as much empathy as she could muster.

“It’s not a short walk back to camp and you can hardly stand.” He let the short explanation hang in the air between them.

Lucette nodded. “I’ll be fine. It’s cloudy, while the walk is long, it is not that arduous. As long as the weather—“

A clap of thunder shook the ground they stood upon and lightening struck the ocean surf a stone’s throw away. They both stood as if frozen in time, watching, waiting. After what felt like ages, Kurt finally began to speak. “I think we might be in the clea—“

The sky rent above them, water pouring down in icy sheets.

“Damnation!” Lucette cursed. Her usually buoyant curls pasted against her forehead and sank to her shoulders. She turned weary, tearful eyes on Kurt and thanked the Maker that he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between tears and rain.

“We need to find shelter!” He called to her.

“What?” The storm had seemed to come on all at once and was now raging all around them. Winds howling, the surf slapping against the shoreline, roaring in protest each time it was dragged back out to sea.

Kurt leaned in to Lucette and put his cheek to her temple, practically yelling in her ear to be heard over the din. “We need shelter!”

She nodded, but before she could act Kurt grabbed her hand in his and pulled her a few feet down the beach. Her heart sank when she thought he was pulling her toward the half submerged, weatherbeaten merchant ship. But just as they approached the askew gangplank, Kurt took a hard right and ran toward a small cave she hadn’t noticed.

The small cave didn’t offer much protection, but it kept the wind and rain off them and deadened the scream of the storm. Lucette leaned against the cave’s wall and took a steadying breath, her head still foggy from exhaustion.

Kurt stood up, his rucksack tossed across the floor of the cave in a hurry to what he needed. He approached her timid as a mouse.“Eat, you’ll feel better.” He opened his hand and a wrapped morsel of chocolate lay in his palm.

A warm, happy feeling blossomed in Lucette chest. Like the feeling she used to get on the last day of Saturnalia when she would wake up early to watch her father wrap her and her mother’s gifts. “Is this all the food we have with us?”

“No?”

She put her hands on her hips, arms akimbo, and tried to look stern. “Kurt Godeaux, you are the worst liar I have ever met.”

“You’re on the verge of passing out again. Please, Lucie, just eat it.”

She grabbed the chocolate morsel, quickly unwrapped it, and popped it in her mouth. “Happy?”

He smiled, but it quickly faded. “I’m sorry we don’t have any more supplies. Are you cold? I should’ve packed more food, more blankets. I should’ve been better prepared. I’m sorry.” He looked at this hands, shame breaking across his face.

Lucette grabbed his face gently between her hands to make him look at her. “You are not to blame for this.” She let go of him and waved away the rest of his apologies. “And anyway, we don’t need blankets.” She looked up at him under heavily lidded eyes.“You can keep me warm.”

What little color the cold hadn’t leached from Kurt’s face drained out at her words. “Your Excellency, I—“

A genuine shiver raced through Lucette, so violent Kurt lost track of his argument. He shrugged out of his coat, but cast the cold, dripping article aside. He reached for Lucette, peeled her wet coat from her arms and back and threw it down near his own. He embraced her tightly, his corded arms almost wrapping all the way around her body.

“You know,” Lucette began, the smirk audible in her tone, “This would be even more effective if we were naked.”


	20. **“That’s What I’m Talking About!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [COMPANION MISSION SPOILERS]

“Dismissed, soldiers!”

The cry rang out through the hall. De Sardet turned to see Kurt standing at the center of the auditorium in full plate armor. His face was unreadable, but his eyes were hard. He wouldn’t look at her.

“Leave us,” he continued in a quieter, yet still firm tone. “We have much to say.”

Lucette’s heart pounded with every step he took toward her, but not the fluttery, love-sick way she was used to. No, this was different. Each beat felt like it might break her rib cage. Each beat was how she imagined the pulse of a rabbit moments before a cat snapped its neck.

Constantin steepled his fingers together, attempting an arrogant nonchalance to knock Kurt off balance. “What is going on? I don’t appreciate this attitude, Kurt.” It seemed to have no affect on the guard. Constantin pressed on regardless, “Must I remind you all these men answer to me?”

“Times change, your Highness. Or rather, they’re about to.”

Constantin stood up, rage flashing across his face. He took four long strides to stand nose to nose with Kurt. “Is that a threat? What are you hoping to accomplish? Don’t tell m—”

“Silence!” Kurt barked at him and Constantin shrank back. For the first time throughout the entire exchange, Lucette saw a crack in Kurt’s visage, a thin rivulet of shame snake through his expression. When he spoke again, his words were rushed and barely audible. “We have little time and none to lose.”

Lucette took the seized upon the small show of vulnerability. “Kurt, what are you talking about?”

Kurt closed his eyes at the sound of her voice and let it’s dulcet tones wash over him, then answered, “The commander of the coin guard is here in New Serene at this very moment. He’s preparing a coup d’etat. In the three cities of of this island, our men are going to eliminate the governors and their entourage.”

“This is madness. Where are our guard, they’ll protect us.”

“That’s what I’m talking about! Your guard are the ones who were corrupted, sent to murder you in cold blood. I—” His voice cracked when he glanced at Lucette. He swallowed and pressed on. “I was sent to murder you in cold blood.” He looked at his hands, then garnered the strength to meet Lucette’s saucer-wide eyes and Constantin’s scowl.

Constantin was the first speak. “Why are you telling us all of this?”

“I’ve known you both for a very long time, too long. I’ve come to know you, to respect you. And I’ve never reneged on a contract.”

Fear swelled in Lucette’s belly until Kurt’s tentative touch grazed her trembling fingers. It was then she realized Kurt was talking about the contract he’d signed with Constantin’s father, the contract that stated he’d give his life in service of protecting the cousins.

Still holding her hand, Kurt continued, “These orders go against all that I am. A cold hearted mercenary? Definitely.”

Lucette caught Constantin’s eye and bit back a small smile.

Kurt either didn’t see or pretended he didn’t. “But never a traitor. Now you are forewarned.” He turned from Constantin back to Lucette, pleading, “You must take action.”

She wanted to hug him, kiss him, shower him in any thanks she could possibly dream up. But for now all she had time for was three simple words.“Thank you, Kurt.”


	21. “You Could Talk About It, You Know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10/11’s Fic from Lucette’s POV

Lucette roused from her sleep when the blanket jerked away from her, a rush of cold air from the open window assaulting her body. She blinked the sleep away and saw Kurt’s shadowy figure hunched over his knees and breathing heavily.

She reached for him, her fingers stopping just short of touch, not wanting to startle him further. “Kurt?” She asked as quietly as she could manage through the dark stillness.

He startled anyway and she silently cursed at herself.

She attempted to soften her voice further, to what degree she managed, she wasn’t sure. “Kurt, darling?”

“I’m fine, Lucie.” He brushed her off and turned his face away.

Her brow furrowed and she resolved to get at least a fraction of an answer. She couldn’t help him if he wouldn’t let her. She sat up and ignored the nag of the ill fitting nightgown sliding down her shoulder, even surpressing a shudder from the growing chill. The only thing that mattered right now was Kurt.

The candle’s dim flame threw just enough light on his face that she could see tears trekking silently down his scarred cheeks. Her heart broke in two and she fought every fiber of her being to not wrap him in a tight bear hug, showering him in adulations.

“You’re crying,” she finally managed. “What happened?”

She watched his throat bob up and down as he swallowed down his emotion. Her gut twisted when she recognized flashes of shame on his face.

“A nightmare, nothing more.”

She laid back down, pulling him into her. She wouldn’t force him if he wasn’t ready, but she would do everything she could to make him feel safe. Tears filled her own eyes when his body began to tremble and shake with violent sobs. She rocked him as her mother used to rock her after every terrible nightmare she’d had as a child, smoothing his hair, and soothing his cries.

In a quieter moment she ventured, “Darling?”

He didn’t respond, but she knew he wasn’t asleep.

“You could talk about it, you know.”

His head shook strongly against her chest, the tear stains he’d made against her nightgown pressing into her.

His shoulders started to tremble again and through broken cries, he tried to tell her, “It’s not always like this.”

Her heart broke all over again. Shattered into a million pieces. He may not know feel safe enough to tell her what happened to him, but she was damn sure she wouldn’t let it happen again. She quelled the rage boiling inside her. Lucette hugged him tighter to her chest and kissed to top of his head. “It can be like this as often as it needs to be.”


	22. “It’s Not Always Like This.”

He bolted up, confused when there was no lit candle casting light across the room. Instead, the only light in the room was the faintest glow of the moon filtering in from the open window.

“Kurt?”

He startled.

“Kurt, darling?”

“I’m fine, Lucie.”

She sat up and the thin, white nightgown slid off her shoulder. He could see the goosebumps on her skin, but she ignored the chill as she reached for his face.

“You’re crying. What happened?”

He turned his back on her. “A nightmare, nothing more.”

She laid back down, pulling him into her. She wrapped her arms around him and for the first time he could remember he felt safe. The sudden warmth that filled him seemed to melt the walls he’d built around himself and the flood gates and levees broke. His shoulders shook and his body rocked as he sobbed. Tears of shame, tears of joy, tears of hate, and tears of love.

“Darling?” A quiet voice asked him. “You could talk about it you know.”

He shook his head as violently as he could manage against her soft skin. Then, “It’s not always like this,” he whispered between choked sobs.

She kissed the back of his head and held him tighter. “It can be like this as often as it needs to be.”


	23. “We Could Have a Chance”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry! It was supposed to be NSFW, but I never got around to coming back in and writing that part. So it fades to black. I will eventually finish it. Probably.

“There’s Dieter’s girls. They’re leaving.”

They nodded to Vasco and slipped out of the alleyway. It was simple enough to get inside. Their was a back gate that was unmonitored from the port and once they had hopped the fence, every Naut they came across was snoring softly. Most even clutched a bottle of drink.

They wound their way through the confusing offices, trying to find the cabinet that held personnel files on the Serene Nauts that were in port. It’d been a few minutes and they had only one room left to check.

“If it’s not in here, Vasco’s intel must be wrong,” Kurt said, not angry or irritated, just matter-of-fact.

Then she opened the door.

Lucette stood motionless in the doorway, staring at the oversized, overstuffed bed that took up the majority of the last office. She felt her face flame and brushed her hair away from her face, using the motion to steal a glance at Kurt. His breathing quickened and he paled considerably.

She didn’t know what to say. Every flirtation, every meaning glance, every unspoken promise came to the forefront of her mind. She opened her mouth, hoping her heart would guide her. But when she turned to him, her words dancing on her tongue, she found Kurt leaning over her with his arm braced against her side of the doorway. His eyes were dark and heavy and a nervous smile played with the scar that ran across his lips.

“…Kurt?” Excitement coursed through her veins. Like magic during a fight, but instead of draining the energy from her, she felt electrified. She felt free.

He leaned down and whispered against her ear, his breath stirring her curls.“What did you say last night? You wished we could get away, just for one night. Go somewhere…private.” He kissed the sensitive trace of skin below her ear. Gooseflesh exploded across her shoulders and down to her toes. He smiled into the kiss and nuzzled her neck.

“I would hardly call this private,” she chided him, but tilted her head to give him better access.

“Lucie, think about it. We could have a chance…” He let the end of his sentence drift. Then he let his hand slide down the doorframe and he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her flush against him. A whimper escaped her as she reveled in soft Naut uniforms they’d pilfered, separating their bodies by mere pieces of cloth and he laughed. “I’m glad you see it my way.” He pulled her toward the bed.

“What if they wake up?”

“They won’t.”

“What if someone else shows up?”

“Who? They’re all here!”

“What about Vasco?”

He stopped just short of the bed, his eyebrows pulled tight. “That’s who you’re thinking about right now?”

Lucette reached up and touched Kurt’s face. The instant her delicate fingers grazed his cheek, his jealous expression vanished and was replaced with one of complete and utter adoration.

“Of course not,” she assured him.

Kurt pulled her her hands to his chest and leaned his forehead down to touch hers. After a moment, he pulled away and gestured to the bed, “May I?”

She looked out the window then back to Kurt. A broad smile split her face. “Yes, please.”

He scooped her up, one arm behind her back and the other under her legs, and heaved her onto the bed. She bit back a scream and devolved into a fit of giggles. “I live to serve.”

:::

With Vasco’s personnel record tucked into her jacket pocket, she tried to jog toward the back gate. Unfortunately, her legs still felt like they were made of fig pudding. She had to have Kurt boost her over the fence and fell onto her back when she dropped down on the other side.

“You’re a mess, Green Blood!” Kurt whispered as he hoisted himself over, a goofy grin plastered to his face.

Lucette shushed him as they drew near to Vasco.

She told him how everything went off without a hitch, emphasizing the difficulty they had in finding the cabinet while very deliberately leaving out the fact they found it in a makeshift bedroom.

Vasco clapped his hands together. “Wonderful! You did perfectly!”

Kurt snorted. “Yes. Yes, she did.”


	24. “Enough! I’ve Heard Enough!”

“A child of an islander?” Lucette’s head swirled with images of her past. Of her mother, the Princess, swinging her around in the garden. Cleaning her skinned knee. Letting her sit on the throne in the main hall to lift her spirit’s the day she found out Constantin would be attending a special school for boys, away from her. “I...I know who my mother is.” She didn’t realize she’d lost her footing until Kurt’s arms slid around her and were the only reason she hadn’t fallen to the ground in a dizzy stupor.

“I understand how difficult this is—“ The admiral continued.

“Enough! I’ve heard enough!” Lucette pulled free from Kurt’s grasp and stumbled through the snow dusted dock yards, head fuzzy with memories and lies.

Kurt’s quiet voice sounded behind her. “I am sorry, Greenblood.”

She dropped her knees as the first of many tears slid down her face. His arms found her and he pulled her close to him. She thanked the Maker he wasn’t wearing armor; small blessings on a bitter cold day that brings bitter cold news.

He squeezed her tightly to his chest, easing her violent shivers the best he was able. “I promise I knew nothing of it. And this changes nothing.” He kissed her temple firmly. “I will keep watching over you.”


	25. “I Never Knew It Could Be Like This”

Kurt inhaled the delicate scent of citrus and cloves as Lucette laid across him, her chin cradled in her palm, careful to not push too hard into his sternum with the point of her elbow.

“Where’d the scar on your chin come from?” She asked, her eyes sparkling with interest.

“A fight with a rogue I’d been dispatched to clear out of the tavern. He‘d a mind to throw a right hook and his gauntlets were awfully sharp.”

She nodded solemnly. After a beat, her finger raised to his lips and traced delicately along the scar that marred them. “Where’d this one come from?”

He smiled—either from the memory or the tickle of her finger, she wasn’t sure—and kissed her finger tips. “Training with the recruits. One was a little overzealous to show me what he was made of.”

Her pale green eyes swelled with concern. “Did he get in trouble?”

He shook his head and laughed, “I might have barked his orders a little sterner than usual, but trouble? No.”

“And this one?” Her finger traveled to the scar that divided the bridge of his nose.

Kurt looked away, a pink blush creeping up from his linen shirt.

She pulled his chin back to look at her and kissed his nose. “Tell me,” she demanded.

A guttural sound developed in his throat, shifting from groan to laugh as Lucette continued to pout. “It’s not a very brave story,” he told her. When the intensity of her stare didn’t falter, he caved. “Fine, fine. Remember when I had just been assigned guard detail with your family and your mother asked that I help her move her vanity for better light?”

Lucette nodded slowly.

“The mirror tipped while I was carrying it and I tripped. I managed to save the vanity at the cost of my face.” His blush deepened and he tried to look away again.

“Mother never told me!”

“I begged her not to!” He laughed and wrapped his arms around Lucette, rolling her across the bed with him until he lay on top of her, caging her with his arms. “I was new and wanted to make a good impression. I wasn’t going to have a piece of bedroom furniture tarnish my record.” He nuzzled her neck and she squealed when his scruff tickled her sensitive skin.

She framed his face with her hands and pushed him just out of reach of her neck. “And this one?” Her thumb grazed the scar that cut across his right eyebrow.

A shadow fell across his face and for a brief moment Lucette thought he’d push her away, but the shadow softened and the storm behind his eyes cleared.

“That one—” He broke free of her hands and began peppering her with kisses, starting at the corner of her mouth and working his way slowly down her throat. His hands reached behind her, seeking the laces of her nightgown. “—is a story for another day.”


	26. “Patience is Not Something I’m Known For”

“Can’t we go back to the residence for a few hours? We haven’t even had our supper yet!” Lucette’s leaned back against the rock she was using as a chair. “I’m hungry.” She whined and turned her pink pout toward Kurt.

“Oh, no you don’t, my Excellency. Not this time!” He kissed her pouting lips, quick and chaste, which just made her pout more. He laughed.

“What am I supposed to do until dark while we wait for this guy to show up?” Her eyebrow quirked at him mischeviously.

Kurt laughed harder. “Lucie!” He mock chastized. “One of us has to stay on task, you vixen.” His eyes traveled slowly up and down her body hungrily. “He’ll be here soon. Just be patient.” Advice he said to her, but meant for them both.

“Patience,” she began as she threw one leg over Kurt to straddle him, “Is not something I’m known for.”


	27. **“Me? Scared?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **End-game spoilers.  
**I tried something new with my narrative style. I think I like it, but IDK how sustainable it is. Thoughts?

She walked into the firelight all legs and lightweight cotton. She’d traded in her leather armor for a mask of smiles and jokes that felt as flat as pressed coin. I knew she wasn’t looking at me because I was the only one who knew she wasa fraud. Who could blame her? The night before we took down her cousin in a battle that would scar the earth under our feet for years to come. Truth be told, I was surprised she could show her face at all.

Our companions peel off from the fireside one by one and she crossed to me. Her eyes matched the blaze next to us, but I held my gaze to hers, strong as iron. If she was going to crumble like a sandcastle in high tide, I needed to be the pier that could take the battering of the sea for decades.

I brushed the hair out of her eyes and whispered softly to her, “It’s okay to be scared.” She laughed and although I knew bravado when I heard it, my heart still skipped a beat at the sound.

“Scared? Me?” She scoffed and put enough distance between us to inspect her pristine fingernails.

I grabbed her fingers with sudden vigor as if she were falling out of my reach. In a way, she was. “No matter what happens tomorrow, rest easy knowing we have done our best.”

Her green eyes bore into me with a look that I knew meant she didn’t believe me, but that mask of smiles slides back into place and the disbelief is gone. She’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINISHED FICTOBER ‘19 IN 2019! :D I’m actually super proud that it only took 3 months. I’m sorry I’m such a slow writer guys, life can get kind of hectic. Thanks for reading :) I always appreciate it! <3 <3 <3


	28. I Might Just Kiss You**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ENDGAME [SPOILER]  
Big Bad’s name was removed and replaced with the appropriate pronoun however it could still be considered a spoiler

Lucette’s gaze traveled over her friends’ faces, each one telling the same story: she was going to die. They couldn’t follow her where she was going. They had to hold the line while she went to talk to him, plead with him. She simply nodded her goodbye to her companions as she walked up the craggy hillside, turning around after her fourth step.

“And Kurt,” her voice warbled, the emotion she had been cramming deep down all day threatened to explode when she said his name, “don’t be a hero.”

He gave her a wan smile.

Oh, god. Even that broken smile made her heart skip. She turned and continued up the hillside, trying to shake the thoughts of the years she’d wasted by his side, but not knowing him, not loving him, or worse- the years she loved him but let him push her away because he didn’t believe he was good enough-when she felt the thick leather of his gloves grab her arm and spin her around, pulling her into a desperate kiss. The kiss scorched her lips and sent ice through her veins, flashbulb memories of all their moments together running through her head, interrupted by the intoxicating weight of his hands as they ran over her body and into her hair. When the kiss broke, she buried her face in his neck and breathed in the scent of him—citrus, cloves, and the faintest afterthought of whiskey.

Lucette gathered enough of her senses to pull away from the embrace, careful to remember the task at hand. Kurt, however, held her close and wiped a single tear from her cheek with the back of his hand.

“Is this the last time I see you?” He asked still tracing her cheek with the back of his fingers.

She couldn’t meet his gaze. “I don’t know.”

Kurt dove in for one last kiss, his hands firm yet gentle on each side of her face. And despite herself, despite knowing what little time she had, Lucette melted in his arms once more.


	29. **“I Can’t Go Back”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[WARNING: ENDGAME SPOILERS!]]

“It’s been quiet for a while now.” Aphra said to the people collecting at the entrance to the sanctuary. “Should someone check on her?”

“I’ve got it,” Kurt assured them. “It’s my job to protect her—them. I need to see what happened.” He turned without waiting for a response and wound his way through the crowd and down the path.

He turned the last corner where the sanctuary opened up to expose a large field and the Bleeding Stones. A large corrupted Guardian lay near entrance, magic still emanating from it’s corpse. He stared in awe at the sheer size of it, but movement deeper into the sanctuary caught his eye. A smaller, dark shadow in the center of the Bleeding Stones rocked back and forth.

He approached the shadow cautiously until he recognized Lucette’s voice as she whispered. He ran to her, stopping short when he realized she cradled Constantin’s lifeless body in her arms.

“He was my only friend. I can’t—I killed my only friend.” Lucette sobbed into Constantin’s shoulder. The blond’s head lolled backward and the sight left an unpleasant taste in Kurt’s mouth.

“Lucie, you did everything you could.”

“I should’ve helped him! I should’ve known something was wrong and helped him sooner!” Her sobs tore through him, the pain strangled her voice and the sound turned his guts to stone.

“There was no helping him, Lucie. But we can help him now. We can take him back to Serene and make sure he gets the royal burial he deserves.” Kurt reached out warily and touched her trembling shoulder.

She wrenched out of his gentle grasp. “Go back?” Her cries were broken, shattered. With every word her voice rose, becoming more and more hysterical, at times losing her voice completely. “I can’t go back! I’ve failed them. I failed as a daughter, I failed as a legate, and I failed as a confidant to the governor and prince!”

Kurt ached to touch her, to console her, to be the rock she clung to as this storm raged around her. To his mind, she went above and beyond, had done everything in her power and more for her mother, for New Serene, and especially for Constantin. He was the one who failed—he was supposed to protect her from this.

A quiet whisper cut through the silence, cut him deeper than any blade had been able. “How did you not see this coming?”

He swayed on the spot, anger and grief waging war within him. He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. Upon opening them, all he saw was Lucette broken and in need. He swallowed his hurt pride and the urge to run and collapsed onto his knees, pulling her into his chest, Constantin still between them. He ignored her angry and frenzied punches, her yells. The moment he was able to fully embrace her, to smooth her hair down, and whisper nonsensical lullabies in her ears, she collapsed into him. Desperate sobs shook her once again and he repeated words of her own that meant so much to him. Words whispered to him in the private darkness of her room, another night chased awake by nightmares. “It can be like this as often as it needs to be.” He kissed the top of her head and held her tighter.


	30. **“I’m Doing This For You”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-game.  
End-game spoilers.

Lucette’s head rested heavily against her palm as she paged through the worn leather book in front of her. The pages were fraying with wear and the rich chestnut brown of the deer leather had long ago faded to a rusty beige around edges. She could almost see the fingerprints were Costya had thumbed open the journal before writing another entry.

An unwelcome albeit familiar sensation prickled at her eyes and she scrubbed hard at them with the back of her free hand for fear of sullying her cousin’s words with a tear stain. With the tears wiped away, she traced her cousin’s words lovingly with the tip of her finger.

“I’m doing this for you, Constantin,” she whispered, his name catching harshly in the back of her throat.

A gentle knock sent her into a flurry of motion—she slammed the book shut and hurried to hide it in the desk drawer.

Kurt entered as she pushed it closed. He raised his eyebrow at her. When she didn’t answer, he sighed and crossed the room. “You don’t need to hide it from me, Lucie.” Kurt knelt beside Lucette and looked up at her pink splotched face and glassy eyes.

“He was a part of me,” she choked out.

Kurt pulled the chair to face him so he could kneel between her legs. He reached up and brushed her curls away from her face.

“I don’t know who I am without him.”

Kurt resisted the urge to pull her into a tight hug. Instead he looked her squarely in the eyes and said, “I know you’re hurting, Lucie. Constantin was your family and nothing that happened can change that.” Kurt kissed her forehead deliberately and then continued, “I know who you are. I’ll always know who you are.”


	31. “I’m With You, You Know That”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU where De Sardet is the one who gets sick

The doctor shook the phial and held it up to light. Black. Black blood.

Lucette’s head swam. That couldn’t be right. She was healthy, it was only a headache, a little fatigue. She was healthy. She was healthy.

Kurt walked into the room, limbs liquid and relaxed. He smiled broadly. “Lucie! Gods are you a sight for sore eyes. You would not believe the night I had with the guard. So it all started in the barracks when Geny—“

He stopped mid sentence, just as the doctor’s presence registered. Just as he saw the black phial silhouetted against the bright sunlit window.

Every breath, every shudder can be heard in the mile long silence between the two as they meet each others’ gaze. He grabbed at the collar of his shirt as though he couldn’t breathe, but it wasn’t long before Kurt broke the silence. “Who—“ he whispered, his voice harsh and unstable. “Who’s is that?” He points at the phial in the doctor’s hand, an altogether unnecessary gesture.

Lucette didn’t bother wiping away the tears pouring down her face. Her breath catching as she tried to inhale. “Mine,” she finally admitted. The admittance seemed to unlock a door. The tears continued to flow, but so did her words.

“Leave us,” Kurt commanded the guard and waited silently as they all filed out quickly. The moment the door shut behind the last guard, he rushed to Lucette and grabbed her arms, ducking his head to meet her eye.

She tugged away half heartedly, but then simply launched into a tear laden tirade. “I can’t die! I have barely even lived! I’m not even twenty-seven years old yet. I have married or had a child. I haven’t watched the sunset only to watch it rise a few hours later because I was lost in conversation with the man I love.” Her chest heaved painfully as she tried to take a breath and met Kurt’s widened eyes. “I’ve never had a kiss that’s lasted longer than it takes to roll a pair of dice. I’ve never—“

Kurt’s lips pressed sudden and hot onto hers. The first second or two was stiff and uncertain, but they quickly melted into one another. Lucette’s mind raced, with thoughts of sickness and of Kurt, but as more of his body made contact with hers, all her thoughts slipped away like water through her fingers.One of his hands was tangled in her curls while the other pulled her waist against his own. She stood stiffly, unsure what to do, so she placed cupped his face in her hands and followed his lead letting the ebb and flow of his passions consume her. When he pulled away it was only enough to rest his forehead against hers and nuzzle their noses together. “Apologies, your Excellency. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Lucette smiled and nuzzled against him again, not ready to let go of his warmth. “What do we do now? What do _I_ do now?”

Kurt sighed softly and hugged her to him, “Whatever we need to. And...I’m with you. Always. You know that.”

She kissed him chastely on the lips and smiled, although the cracks of worry could be seen around her eyes and mouth. “Always.”


End file.
